Nevermore
by Valentina LaFontaine
Summary: Antonin Dolohov hated summers. He hated the heat, the bugs, the pointless parties and the horrible tan lines, but one summer he would meet a woman that changed his perception on love.
1. Part I: Heaven

_This story is separated into three parts. Heaven, Earth and Hell. It chronicles the love life of Antonin Dolohov a Death Eater and the love of his life Nora Baton. I was inspired to write this after a friend and fellow RP member proposed the idea. The character of Nora came to life for me and I hope everyone who reads this will enjoy this too. Antonin doesn't belong to me, he belongs to the lovely and talented J.K Rowling and Nora doesn't belong to me either. She belongs to my friend Molly. I only present them through my interpretations of each character. _

_This can take place before the first Wizarding War, during the Second Wizarding War or afterward. It's completely up to your imagination because I was indecisive about it._

_Hope you enjoy, _

_Val_

_P.S: The title is based off of Edgar Allen Poe's famous poem (and one of my personal favorites) The Raven. _

* * *

><p><strong>Part I: Heaven<strong>

Antonin hated summer. He hated summer more than he hated any other season. Even as a child, he couldn't stand the heat, the sun, and the bugs that flew in his face as he strolled through the family property. He despised the summer parties at lake and beach houses, the bug bites, and especially the tan lines he would get on his arms. He made a habit of wearing long sleeves during the summer in order to avoid tanning much to the amusement of his only friends and fellow Death Eaters.

If he was asked, he couldn't recall one good memory of the summertime until he saw her. Rodolphus Lestrange, one of his closest friends invited him to party at the summer house he inherited. Antonin scoffed at the invitations. He had no interest in jumping into a filthy pond or sitting outside getting eaten alive by mosquitos and possibly getting stung to death by bees. However he reluctantly went along.

He sat in a lawn chair far from the pond near the summer home. He frowned as he watched the sun slowly dim into the fiery orange sky when from the corner of his eye he spotted a woman hiding behind a white parasol, hiding away from the other polite conversations. Her emerald green dress blended in with matching color blanket she was lounging upon. He couldn't make out a single feature about her, but if he looked hard enough he could see a pale leg under the linen fabric.

She had captivated his attention, he couldn't look away and even if he could he would choose not to. He squinted a meager attempt see her face under the white parasol, but instead he only saw an opened book of French poetry and pale fingers turning the pages.

Antonin made an effort to think of ways he could talk to her or to catch of glimpse of her face. He thought of walking into Rodolphus's summer home and pretending to have a craving for butterbeer. He would grab the beverage and walk into her, proceeding to make conversation with her and offering her one. The plan was flawless, but it seemed so typical.

He hoped that perhaps Rodolphus or someone they mutually knew would try to talk to her and he could interrupt their discussion and talk to her, but after several minutes of waiting it didn't seem likely. He had been staring at her for nearly an hour, waiting for a glance at her visage. He had to see for himself if she was worth the thought of planning.

If he saw nothing else about her, he wanted to see her eyes. The eyes were the window to the soul and with one gaze his first impression of any member of the opposite sex was usually correct.

As the afternoon progressed she didn't need the parasol. The woman in the emerald green examined the darkening sky and closed the parasol. She had beautiful red hair pinned up to the crown of her head. Several messy strands fell down her cheeks and shined in the gleam of daylight. Her cheeks were a rosy red, lively soft skin and eyes of blue. She turned to him for a moment and smile politely before returning back to her book.

His jaw was stiff with a dull ache. He realized he must've looked like a fool staring at her with his mouth agape. He had to speak to her. He wondered what her voice sounded like. His guess was she had the voice that would make the angels sing, she would be witty and talkative, sweet to him and only to him and most importantly she was a pureblood. He had to talk to her. He had to at least know her name.

He threw caution to the side and stood up from his seat and inside the house. He grabbed a butterbeer and poured firewhiskey from the flask he kept in the pocket of his robes and then back into the dying sun. A bug flew past his cheek, but he didn't care. The beauty hadn't moved from her spot.

He didn't feel his feet moving forward until he could see her hair clearer and clearer with every step. He observed her features and quirks such as the small freckles on her shoulder, but every imperfection enhanced her appeal to him. He knelt in the grass beside her, ignoring the possibilities of getting his expensive trousers covered in grass stains.

"Hello." He greeted her with a small bow.

She looked up from her poetry book and nodded politely. Her pink lips half smiled and her eyes were bluer than the clearest Caribbean Sea. They appeared honest, kind and yet so empty and lonely. She had a few freckles on the bridge of her nose and she smelled like honey and flowers.

"Hi." She said. Her voice was mousy and small. She looked at her book again, however she wasn't reading, but waiting. Her eyes darted to their corners and gawked at him. Antonin stayed and waited for her to say a word of approval or disapproval. She looked at the page and back to him for a minute or two, before she closed her book, her thumb bookmarking her particular spot.

"Am I bothering you?" she asked.

Antonin grinned and shook his head. "Of course not. Why would you be bothering me?"

"Oh. I don't know."

"Am I bothering you?" Antonin asked her back.

"Well," she said, avoiding his look. "No. Not really."

"Mind if I join you? You look lonely."

"I'm not." She said. Her head turned to meet his. She was twisting her fingers together and biting her lip. "Oh, and I don't mind you joining me."

Antonin grinned at her awkward display of nerves. He expected a confident, outgoing, talkative woman. He should've known better. Anyone who reads a book instead of socializing either doesn't want to be there or shy. He sat beside her cross-legged on the blanket and looked out at the lake.

"Are you having fun?" he asked her. She was thumbing through the pages of her book back and forth.

"Yes." Her voice was so small it practically squeaked. "I already read this poetry book, it's wonderful."

"Do you read French well?"

"Yes. Well, I think I could get by." She looked ahead at the dim sum shining off the pond, bending the flimsy parchment.

"You don't talk much do you?" Antonin asked, cocking his head to the side so he could look at her. Her head turned to him and she noticed his eyes meeting hers.

"No." she said smiling and covering her mouth. Her cheeks turned a rosy pink. Her pale fingers wrapped around her mouth, hiding her smile. "You don't need to always talk to communicate."

"How true you are." Antonin said, wrapping his fingers around his goblet of butterbeer. He brought the goblet to his lips and peered at her through narrowed eyes. He enjoyed the way her bust rose and fell as she breathed. "You seem rather interesting."

"Oh." She said hiding her smile once again in her cupped hands. "Thank you." They sat in another moment of dreaded silence. She fixed the straps of her emerald dress and fingered the dangling strands of hair. "So," she said attempting to start a conversation. "Wh-why are you here? Well, I mean do you know anyone here?" She began to blush again. "Sorry, I get nervous and I begin to stutter."

"Don't apologize." Antonin said. He found her social skills to be adorable. "I barely even noticed." That was a lie.

"Oh." She said returning back to rolling the parchment between her fingers and flattening it with the palm of her hand again.

"I am friends with a few of these people. I don't normally attend these events."

"Oh, who?"

"Rodolphus Lestrange. The big guy over-"

"I know who he is." She covered her mouth in shock. "Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off."

"It's fine." Antonin chuckled. "How do you know Rodolphus?"

"He's my godmother's nephew."

"Ah." Antonin said. "So you know him pretty well."

She shook her head. The waves of her red hair flew into her face with her movements. "No. I don't know him well at all. My godmother's daughter, Violette made me go. She and Rodolphus are chums."

"Ah, I see. Is she the pretty one with the curly black hair?"

"Yes."

"Ah, I see." Antonin said. "So, what's your name?"

"What?" she said turning to look at him. Much to his dismay she didn't look at him for long. The light reflecting off the pond shined upon her face. Every beam of light would hit her eyes and he was hypnotized. "Nora, Nora Baton."

"Nora?" Antonin retorted. "That's beautiful."

"Thank you."

"I meant it," he said, longing to reach out and stroke those soft cheeks of hers. "It's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

Nora's cheeks flushed into a beet red and for a second he saw her smile wide to catch a glimpse of her impeccable teeth.

"Thank you." She said. She turned to him and scanned him up and down. She smiled at him and then her eyes went back down to the blanket. "And what's your name?" she said softly.

"Antonin Dolohov." He said.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Dolohov."

"Inferiors call me Mr. Dolohov," he said moving his hand in a dramatic fashion. "But you can call me Antonin or Ant."

"I like Antonin better." She said. She had a dimple in her right cheek. He wanted to run his thumb up and down the side of his face and feel the indent.

"Then I shall be called Antonin by you." He said, smirking at her. They sat in silence for several moments and he turned back to her. Although she didn't give off the impression of being as easy as a Knockturn Alley whore, he did imagine kissing up and down her shoulder. He imagined dragging his tongue across her collarbone, while his hands travelled up and down the curves of her body. "Nora, I have a problem." He said.

"What's that?" she asked, taking her time to look at him longer and longer. Each moment gave Antonin a wave of calm. Those ocean pools of serenity brought a light that had been lacking in his summer day.

"I'm worried the sun is going to go down soon. Everyone will go home and I'll be forced to sit in my Manor all alone. Let me be frank, I want to get to know you, but you're going to leave and we'll carry on with our lives like this never happened. What do I do to solve this?"

Nora's bottom lip twitched like she was going to say something, she turned to look at him. Her blue eyes looked into his hazel ones. She turned around to face him and she said in a mousy whisper.

"Enjoy it while you can." She said. "That's all you can do."

* * *

><p>He did see her again. He had to see her again. He never experienced an infatuation such as this. He wanted to know everything about her and he thought of her often.<p>

Nora Baton. Nora Baton. Nora Baton. Nora Baton. Nora Baton.

The more he said her name the more infatuated he became. He felt he had to say her name so he wouldn't forget her and maybe in a way she wouldn't forget him. Perhaps she would hear him calling her and they would be connected in thought.

He could've owled her the next day after the picnic, but he didn't. He was overwhelmed by his own pride. He never wanted a woman so badly as to call on her the next day. Another possibility was he secretly feared rejection from her. What if she wasn't the shy girl she portrayed herself to be? What if she was something entirely different?

Perhaps she was a shy bookworm during the day and a harlot by night. What if she didn't like men? Then he'd have to live with the embarrassment for the rest of his life. What if she was already married and had children? These obsessive thoughts kept him from owling her for nearly a week.

He reread his owl over and over for an hour, making small grammatical changes and phrases.

"_Ms. Nora Baton, _

_ Forgive me for my lack of correspondence over the last week. I have been quite busy lately. I was hoping you would be able to attend lunch with me tomorrow afternoon at twelve? It would be my honor._

_Antonin." _

After pacing back and forth for however long it took, she responded to his owl with a simple;

"_Antonin, _

_Yes. I will._

_Nora."_

* * *

><p>One evening date turned into two, two turned into three, until Antonin lost track. When he lost count of how many dates they had, he wanted to do something special for her. His shy little flower had begun to blossom from one word answers and nervous movements to talking confidentially to him. He learned more about her with each time he saw her. She loved Italian food, French poetry, pastel paintings, German operas and the newest fashionable robes from Sweden. He expected this from a woman of her status, but he never anticipated someone so perfect for him. She was more than fashion and poetry. She was the flickering light in the darkness and he didn't want to lose it. She was worth more than any woman he's ever known.<p>

They had been walking the street hand in hand. Her palms were so soft, but clammy. He didn't mind in the slightly.

"Honestly, you didn't have to give me presents." Nora smiled.

"Admit it though," Antonin said motioning with his other hand. "You enjoy them."

"I do." She said smiling. "I do, I use the easel and pastels every day and the collection of Louise Bellaire's poetry I finished in nearly a week, but you didn't have to take me here."

_Albinoleffe_ was the most expensive Italian restaurant in England, not only was everything on the menu not under four galleons, but it was extremely hard to get a reservation on short notice. He had to pay the owner an unforeseen amount of money and a few small threats to curse him to squeeze in him and Nora, but he had to pay so they could a table in the reserved section. No price was too much for him. She deserved the best.

"You asked and you received it." He said, dwelling on the amount of money it cost him, but forgetting it just as easily.

"And I appreciate it ever so much. You must've reserved this nearly a year in advance."

"Uh," he said pausing for a moment. If he told her how much it cost him to get in and to have special table she wouldn't feel right taking it. "Yes." He said nodding his head. "Yes I did."

Nora stopped mid walk and turned to face him. Her pale brows knitted together and her arms were crossed. "Did you _really_ reserve us a table a year of ahead of time?"

"Yes." Antonin lied again, looking at his nails in a bored fashion as if it was nothing. "I was thinking ahead of time."

"We've been seeing each other for a month and a half and you happened to have a reservation?" Nora said leaning forward in interest.

"Yes. Is that so hard to believe?"

"It sounds like dumb luck."

"It's the truth," Antonin said looking into those blue eyes of hers. He couldn't lie while looking in her eyes. "Well, sort of." He mumbled.

"What is the truth, Antonin?" Nora asked, directing his head direction with his chin, forcing him to look in her eyes.

"I reserved it yesterday." He mumbled.

"You what?"

"Hey," Antonin said grabbing her by the arm and pulling her along quickly. "We can talk about this later we have a reservation to get to."

"Antonin!" Nora said. "Did you bribe us in?"

"At least it will deter you from getting just a salad." He hated that. He wondered why women bothered going out if they were going to buy food that won't fill them up and they could barely see?

"I don't like salad." Nora corrected.

"Then you and I will get along."

"But I don't want you to spend your money on me, I'm not worth it."

Antonin stopped short under an oil lamp and looked down at her. She wasn't a short woman as many of the other women he had dated in the past. She fit just right under him. His hand cupped on the side of her face and his thumb drew circles into her rosy cheeks.

"That's where you're wrong, Nora." He said. "You are worth every single sickle."

He pulled her closer to him inhaling her scent and feeling the tickle of her breath against his cheek. He wanted to kiss her so badly it became a fire within him every time the thought crossed his mind. He got to kiss her cheek and she kissed his after every date when he'd take her home, but he wasn't satisfied. He once held her close in his arms, tangled his fingers in hers and fell asleep beside her, but he never once felt her lips touch his. He had been waiting for her and he would continue until she was ready.

"Kiss me?" Nora said with an upward inflection to her voice.

"I didn't want to have to beg you." He said before pressing his lips to hers.

It was the most wonderful kiss he shared with anyone. It was one worth waiting a hundred years for. Her arms wrapped around him, their bodies pressed so tightly against each other he could feel her heart beating against his. He never wanted to pull away from her. He wanted to remain locked with her forever. Her lips parted from his and she smiled.

"Let's go then." She said. "We can't waste your money." She chuckled and put her hand in his. His last concern was food. He had to kiss her one more time. He took her completely off guard and crashed his lips on hers. She smirked against his kiss and held her hand on his chest. "We have to go, or we'll lose the reservation. We can do this later."

Antonin completely forgot about the reservation and if the truth were told he didn't care. He'd rather kiss her all day than to eat expensive food. He lazily walked to the restaurant as if he were in a dream. He might as well have been. He had the most perfect, beautiful woman on his arm and he received the most perfect kiss. If he died at that very moment, it would have all been worth it.

He looked at her momentarily to get another glimpse of her when something caught his eye. A fresh blue bruise formed where he grabbed her a few minutes ago. He stopped and examined her wrist.

"Oh shit," he said, inspecting the blemish over and over. "I am so sorry Nora." His heart dropped, he had the evening and most importantly he hurt her. Nora looked at her wrist and shrugged her shoulders.

"Never you mind, I tend to bruise easily anyway." She joked. "I'm a peach with legs."

Antonin chuckled weakly, but couldn't shake the feeling that he had hurt her. Nora stroked his chin and kissed him once more. Her touch, her kisses, the look in her eyes when she smiled it was all he needed to feel alive. He had remained numb to human emotions for so long, unbeknownst misery was all he knew. Kindness, love, empathy, it seemed to be the epitome of weakness, but then she came along.

"Let's eat, shall we?" she said. "You didn't hurt me, I promise."

"I never want to hurt you. I never want to disappoint you." Antonin said.

"And you never will."

Was he in love? He couldn't be in love, not now. They had been seeing each other for nearly a month and a half. They barely knew each other, but did knowing her favorite color or where she was born constitute as love? Not to him. He could feel emotions he's never felt with anyone. He truly believed was in love.

* * *

><p>"I love cinnamon buns." Nora smiled, smelling the treat in her hands. She looked up at him and her eyes danced with excitement. She was as excited as a child in a candy store, bouncing with excitement and savoring every bite.<p>

Antonin bit into his. "Then eat it." He said with a full mouth. Nora nodded, using her thumb to wipe white icing from the corner of his mouth. She inhaled it once more and opened her mouth to bite in when she stared. Straight ahead of them were two children. The tallest one was a boy who looked no older than nine and the shorter one was a girl who looked around six. They had dirt on their faces, old rags that were too big for them as clothing and they were digging through restaurant trash cans.

"Antonin," she said in a soft voice. "Look."

"Yeah?" Antonin said taking an extra big bite of his cinnamon bun whilst staring at them. Nora was orphaned at ten years old and had to live with her godmother and godfather. She loved children and thought no child no matter the blood status should ever be left unloved. Antonin thought she was foolish, but she didn't mind or really care. She knew where her heat lay.

She frowned at him and split her cinnamon bun in half and walked toward them. "Nora! Get away from those mudbloods!" he called after her. Nora looked back at him with a glare like he had never seen on her.

"I don't like that word." She said in a soft voice.

"They could have fleas or something!" She ignored him and turned back to the children and squatted before them. Antonin wrapped his fingers around his wand in his robes watching the children carefully. His fingertip dragged up and down the smooth wood.

"Here you go." She said giving them a piece of her cinnamon bun. "It's really good." The girl reached out for it first and soon the boy did as well.

"Thank you." The little girl said in a ministure looking up at her with big brown eyes.

"You're welcome precious." She said.

"Thank you very much." The boy said taking a bite of his piece. Nora touched both of their head and smiled.

"Take care, okay?" Nora said. She walked back to Antonin with a successful grin on her face. He grabbed her hands and cleaned them a couple times with his wand..

"There." He said.

"What th-"

"They're dirty, Nora. You have no idea what they have."

"Oh Merlin, Antonin!" Nora exclaimed, stomping ahead of him. She turned back around and shouted. "They're children!"

"They're still mudbloods!" he called after her.

She didn't answer his owls for days after that.

* * *

><p>"I want to the other one." Antonin told the woman selling him engagement rings. It had been two months of courting her, but he knew she was the one. He picked up a large diamond ring with a gold band. Emeralds as green as the dress she wore the day he met her was placed around the band.<p>

"It's really expensive." The witch said.

"I don't care." He said.

"She must be someone special." She said putting the ring in a box.

"Yes," he said smiling to himself. "Yes she is."

* * *

><p>They had a date, but she had to cancel on him. She had another bout of illness. He sat in the pub holding the ring in his hand. He opened the velvet box and thumbed down the emeralds. Rodolphus and Lucius were on either side carrying on their own conversations, leaving Antonin to sulk into his whiskey.<p>

"That's a nice ring." Rodolphus said peaking over his shoulder.

"It is." Antonin said imaging his ring on her finger. "It's for Nora."

"You've been struck with cupid's arrow." Lucius said, taking a swig from his glass of brandy.

"Antonin's got a girlfriend." Rodolphus chanted, swaying side to side. Lucius snickered into his glass of brandy. Antonin rolled her eyes.

"You are so very mature, Lestrange." He said dryly, staring into the ring again. "She's more than a girlfriend. I'm going to marry her."

"So soon?" Lucius questioned ordering another brandy.

"Yes, she's the one. I know it."

"It's love potion." Rodolphus said with a nod.

"That explains a lot." Lucius mumbled. Antonin shot them both dirty looks.

"It's always the quiet ones." Rodolphus added. "They're the dames you need to watch out for."

"She hasn't given me love potion." Antonin remarked.

"Well give us a reason why not to believe its love potion. You know nothing about her." Rodolphus said finishing his third shot of whiskey. "She could be crazy and you'd never know."

"You knew Bellatrix for your whole life, but you married her anyway." Antonin reasoned.

"Hey," Rodolphus said snatching up his fourth shot from the pub counter. "I told you time and time again. It was arranged and even if it wasn't, she's still my girl."

Antonin nodded slowly, thinking out loud. "She gets sick often."

"Who does?" Lucius asked.

"Nora." Antonin answered.

"She's been like that for years apparently." Rodolphus said. "At least so I heard. She has these spouts of time where she gets so sick she can barely get out of bed. I guess that's how she is."

"Has she been to a healer?" Lucius asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know." Rodolphus shrugged. "I would think so."

Antonin frowned. He had a sinking feeling something was wrong, but he ignored it. "I haven't told her yet."

"Told her what?" Rodolphus asked downing another shot and burping loudly.

"About this," Antonin replied shoving the sleeves of his crimson shirt to his elbows, revealing his dark mark.

"Well, do you take your clothes off when you shag her?" Rodolphus inquired.

"Rodolphus," Lucius said. "Don't you think that's a bit explicit?" Lucius frowned for a moment and turned to his friend. "Well, now that it's out in the open, do you?"

"I haven't shagged her."

Lucius and Rodolphus frowned at each other over Antonin's head. Rodolphus placed a hand to his temple.

"You've been seeing her for a month-"

"Two months." Antonin corrected.

"Whatever," Rodolphus dismissed. "You've been buying her all these presents, you're thinking of marriage and you haven't shagged her?"

"Yes."

"You've either gone completely mad or she's giving you love potion."

"I didn't believe your love potion theory," Lucius commented. "But now that you've placed the evidence together, it makes a lot of sense."

"Sex isn't everything." Antonin rolled his eyes. Several months ago the words wouldn't even slip out of his mouth. It seemed out of character and unusual for him. "I'll be ready when she's ready."

"Whatever makes you happy, Ant." Lucius said lazily shrugging his shoulders and finishing his brandy.

"When you wake up from this love potion spell, I'm going to say I told you so for years." Rodolphus said.

They could tease as they wish. He knew what he felt was genuine and real. He was going to marry her even if it was the last thing he ever did.

* * *

><p>She looked pale and her hair hung straight and loose on her shoulders. She smiled at him, her blue eyes twinkling.<p>

"My little flower." He said entering her room. He had only been in her room once before, her godmother Mrs. Ophelia Delavergne caught them on her bed together. Although Nora was a grown woman it was seen as improper for an aristocratic woman to be caught alone with a gentleman in her bedroom. Luckily for him she made an exception this one time.

"Antonin," she said holding her arms out to him. He leaned down to her, kissing her lips, cheeks, chin and neck. She giggled delightfully stroking his hair. "You should've owled before you came, I would've tidied up."

"You're not well. You shouldn't have to lift a finger. Besides you look beautiful." He said, unable to stop kissing her neck. The more he inhaled her scent, the more he wanted to reconsider waiting to be intimate with her.

"It seems like you've been sick forever." He nestled on the other side of her bed, his face nuzzled in her neck.

"I know," Nora said. "It's one of the many things I've been cursed with. I feel better though. All I needed was rest."

Antonin tangled his fingers in hers and held her pale body to his. He could feel the bones of her spine on his fingertips and her shoulder blade stretched her waxy pale skin.

"I brought you something." He said, reaching into the pocket of his robes.

"Oh no," Nora said, touching his arm. "You don't have to do this Antonin, please. I don't need any more gifts."

"But you'll like this." He said, revealing a purple and gold oval box. Nora frowned at it until he placed a small golden key in a small slit to the side. The oval box opened and inside was a woman with red hair and porcelain skin sitting in front of her vanity mirror and swaying side to side. She was singing her favorite opera song, _'Liebe'_. A love struck woman had fallen in love with a man who could never love her.

Nora hummed along to it and smiled. "Thank you Antonin, this is wonderful." She kissed him gently stroking the stubble upon his cheek. "How much did it cost?"

"Don't worry about it." Antonin said shrugging his shoulder. "I made it on my own, the supplies didn't cost that much." He said rolling his wrist into the air. She sighed and shook her head, pulling him into another kiss. Antonin rolled on top of her stroking her cheek and savoring everything about her, the touch of her soft lips and the tip of her tongue gliding along his tongue and lips.

"Antonin," she whispered into his mouth, shifting herself under him. "I'm sorry. I can't. Not now."

"I know," Antonin whispered. "But I missed you so much. It's been almost a week. I need to feel close to you."

Nora smiled at him and kissed the tip of his nose. He felt like a little boy when she did that. His chest warmed and he couldn't hold back a smile. She nestled close to him and closed her eyes. Her fingers never stopped moving over the top of his hand. Antonin felt a small linger of guilt. He had been living a lie for several weeks now. He worried that she wouldn't love him anymore if she knew who he truly was.

He was a Death Eater. A murderer. A baby killer and any other name one could think of, but the horrifying fact was he enjoyed his job. He loved the thrill he received from torturing the filth of the wizarding world and hunting muggles. He feared if she knew she wouldn't love him. She was a kind, sensitive, warm and loving person. She had empathy for all walks of life, while he did not.

She would surely leave him and then he would return to his broken form once more. He would be devoid of all empathy for everyone. A surge of jealousy inked through him. She would want someone else opposite of him, he couldn't let that happened. He felt the box containing her engagement ring press against his hip and he knew he had to do it. He couldn't marry her and hide this from her, it wasn't right. She must know.

"Nora?" he said.

"Yes, Antonin?" she asked, opening her eyes. The honest blue pools looked into his dark ones.

"I have to confess something."

He grabbed her attention. She sat up on the bed and brought her legs to her chest. Her chin rested on her knees as she waited for him to speak. Her eyes watered as if she were going to cry at any moment. Antonin sat up his body along with her, his throat closed up and the words wouldn't come out.

"There's someone else, isn't there?" she asked immediately. The absurdity! How could the thought cross her mind, nonetheless his?

"Never!" he said grabbing her hands in his. He softened his tone. "There could never be anyone else besides you." Nora smiled a little, but she still looked skeptical. "I have to tell you something." He said. His head hung down, he was completely at her mercy.

"Well, then?" she said.

"I-" he paused. Perhaps he didn't have to tell her. He could live a lie for the rest of their lives. He would think of excuses for his hands being covered in blood and the dark mark burning in his arm. He would marry her and everything would be like a fairy tale. He shook his head. It wouldn't work. There needed to be completely honesty in his relationship with her. "I am not who you think I am."

"Yes you are." She said with a sense of confidence within her voice. "You are Antonin Dolohov."

"Yes, I am. However there's another side to me. It's something that I tried to hide for too long."

"Well, tell me." Nora leaned forward and placed a small kiss upon his hand and put his hand to her forehead. "You can tell me anything." She said. Her clammy skin mixed with her hot breath upon his forearm, sending a chill up his spine. A trail of goose bumps led the trail.

An enormous amount of guilt fell upon his shoulders. He never felt guilty for his convictions. He took pride in them. He would gladly take the dementors kiss rather than deny who he really was, but this woman brought him weak to his knees. The cruelty he had taken pride in was melting at the hands of this beautiful angel, _his_ angel.

He rolled up his left sleeve with shaking rapid hands and extended his pale forearm to show her his dark mark. The menacing snake coming from the open mouth skull writhed and vibrated on his arm.

"This is who I am." He declared.

Nora examined the mark. Her fingers danced around the black lines, but never touching it. She pulled her hand away from it and met his eyes. Her expression remained the same, blank and empty.

"I know." She said with a nod.

"What?" Antonin replied putting his arm down on the bed sheets. "You mean-"

"I knew." Nora shoved a red strand from her face and dragged her fingers along the blanket, hiding her propped legs. "I am not as sheltered as everyone thinks. I read the papers, I've heard Aunt Ophelia talk to Rodolphus and Rabastan. I heard your name mentioned a few times. I knew of you and I know what all of you do. I knew who you were the moment I saw you."

"And it doesn't scare you?" Antonin said his jaw dropping. She touched his cheek and drew her hands behind his head, pulling him into a soft peck on the lips.

"It terrifies me," she replied smiling weakly. "But you're not as callous as you think. I don't see you as the evil Death Eater everyone describes. I see a wonderful human being who is horribly misguided."

"I'm not misguided."

Nora didn't say anything else. She brought her hand from his cheek and wrapped it back around her legs. "I was waiting for you to admit it to me. I didn't care how long it took."

"I wish you told me you knew."

"I wish you told me earlier, what if I found you repulsive?"

Antonin couldn't argue with her point. He stared into her eyes and said in a soft voice. "I love you."

"I love you too." A tear slid from the corner of her eye and fell down her cheek. He caught it with the edge of his thumb and wiped it away. It left a salty wet streak behind. He slid off the bed and stood up. "Can you stand?"

Nora nodded and stood up on her pale wobbly feet. She smiled at him. He pulled out the velvet box from his robes and bent down on knee. He held her right hand in his.

"Nora Baton," He started, speaking directly off the top of his head. The tears were already falling down her cheeks. "I have never met someone like you. It's hard to believe you could ever consider me for anything else other than a stranger. You have captivated me from the moment I met you. The shy little flower who prefers a book over a party has meant more to me than anyone, even my own mother. You have made my life worth living and gave me a new sense of the word happiness. I am not asking you, I'm begging you, marry me and make me the happiest man alive. I want to wake up to you every morning, and fall asleep next to you every night. I want to spend forever with you until death takes us. My love, will you marry me?" He opened the box with the expensive ring. Nora wiped her tears with her wrist and nodded. She responded almost immediately.

"Yes, I will." She said choking back more tears.

* * *

><p>He moved her into his home almost immediately after he announced their engagement. Her godparents weren't too happy about the arrangement, but after receiving half of her dowry and a glimpse of his property their minds had immediately changed.<p>

Nora's health changed dramatically. Her previous spout of illness seemed almost like a dream. She had her healthy glow back again and her red hair shimmered in the daylight. He was so pleased with her health and their engagement he wanted to surprise her with something special.

He placed his hands over her eyes and led her down the hallway of the Dolohov Manor. Nora pulled and tugged at his hands.

"Antonin." She laughed. "What is it? Can you please just tell me?"

"No, I can't just tell you, that's why they call it a surprise. You have to see it"

He stopped her in front of a two large oak doors with engraved golden handles. He placed his lips to her ear and asked in a hushed voice. "I trust you to keep your eyes closed." Nora smiled and nodded her head in agreement.

"Very well then, Antonin." He dropped his hands and checked to make sure her eyes were closed shut. Antonin opened the oak doors and took her by the hands and led her inside.

"It smells funny." She noted. "It smells like spilled potions and a bad herbology experiment." He chuckled. He did used to experiment in potions within the walls of that room.

"Are you still not looking?"

"Yes, dear."

He withdrew his wand and with a flick the curtains of the room opened letting in the sunlight. He examined the massive library inspecting every detail for her. Although he hadn't been in there for years, he was surprised it still looked the same.

"Can I open my eyes, please?" she asked.

"Not yet." He said with a smirk on his face. He loved watching her smile widened in anticipation. It rejuvenated his love for her beauty.

"Please, now?" she said.

"Alright, now."

Nora opened her eyes and her mouth immediately dropped. From one end of the wall to the other there was nothing, but books. She walked to the staircase that led to the second and third level of the library. She covered her open mouth with her hand as she twirled in circles. He hoped she would love the library as much as he did. When he was a younger boy, he used to ponder if his family had collected a copy of every book in the world.

"Is-is this really for me?" she asked.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it." Nora said, her eyes watering with happy tears.

"This is the first wedding gift I give to you, my love. It's all yours."

"I don't know where to start." She said. She ran back into his arms and he swept her up off the floor into a kiss. Their faces were pressed closely together for several moments. She kissed him again and again, letting her hands roam freely on every inch of his body that she could reach.

"I love you so much." She said breathlessly as he placed her back on the floor. She pulled him closer toward her by the collar of his robes, grinding her body into his and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I love you too." He said his manhood twitching at the feel of her body against him. Nora kissed him deeply, shoving her tongue in his mouth. One of her hands glided down his chest, stopping at his hip bone. A sly smile spread on her face.

"I'm feeling much better today." She said. He knew what she meant. He picked her up and gently placed her down on the library floor. She exhaled a childish giggle and whispered as if they could get caught.

"Here, Antonin?"

"Ssh." He said placing a kiss on her lips. "It'll be fun trust me."

"But what if the house elves-"

"What are they going to do? Tell the others? Relax, my love." He kissed down along her neck and chest, lifting her dress up past her hips as he did so. Nora watched him with a sense of fascination. She bit her lip and her cheeks turned beet red as her knickers came off her hips.

* * *

><p>Antonin ringed the wash cloth into the basin. The cold water froze his fingers to the bone, but his welfare was the least of his concerns. A sheen of perspiration coated Nora's body as if she had ran a marathon in summer humidity, but she was shivering.<p>

"Nora?" he said as he cleaned up her face. Her eyelids fluttered open. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I feel hot and cold." She croaked in a small voice. Her hair attached to her damp forehead and her voice gave out small little moans of pain. "I can barely see." She whimpered. "It hurts so much."

"It hurts?" Antonin asked. "What hurts?" His hand touched her forehead, his long fingers coiling in her hair. Her skin was hot to the touch, but cold and clammy in the same juncture.

"My head." She said. "It's another migraine. You don't have to fawn over me."

"I'm helping you, Nora." He said rushing to his potion cabinet in the supply closet. "It's not _fawning_."

"I'll be fine." She said drawing the covers over her shoulders as another wave of shivers overpowered her. Nearly a minute later she kicked the covers off of her as the heat took.

"Hush." Antonin said going through the potions cabinet looking for anything to help ease her pain. The bottles clinked as he shoved them back in order. There had to have been something for migraines in his closet, an elixir of some sort.

"Antonin." She called.

"Yes darling?" Antonin said through gritted teeth forcing his tone to remain calm. He wasn't annoyed with her, but the stress of his inability to find a potion to help her was driving him to madness.

"I-I can't see." She said. "It hurts to open my eyes." Antonin shoved the closet doors closed and rush toward her. He grabbed his wand from the bed table.

"_Lumos_." He said holding the light above her face. Her skin was gray and another shimmer of sweat covered her face. Her eyes look sunken and dark circles appeared under her eyes. Her lips were dry and cracked a drastic change from only a few hours ago when she looked just as lively as ever. "I'm taking you to St. Mungo's." he said.

"No." she breathed. "No, I'll be fine. I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to get used to it." Antonin affirmed. "_Accio cloaks_." He said, the cloaks came to at the blink of an eye.

"No darling," she said trying to open her eyes. She winced in pain and kept her eyes closed. "I'll be fine. I usually take a sleeping draught. The migraines disappear with time and rest. I'll be fine." She affirmed.

Antonin exhaled sharply, pacing forward and backwards. He dropped his cloak on the floor and returned back to the potions closet. He found the draught next to an old vial of Veritaserum. He wrapped his arm under her soaking wet head and lifted her up to drink the draught. Her dry pale lips wrapped around the mouth of the vial and sucked the potions contents dry.

Although she slept peacefully throughout the night, Antonin did not. He remained awake with his cloak wrapped around him. The chill of the autumn night air flurried through his thin night shirt and pants.

He couldn't sleep knowing she wasn't well.

* * *

><p>"I want children." Nora said, as they passed by another mother pushing an infant carriage.<p>

"How many?" Antonin asked, holding her hand in his. He slowed his pace once again so she could keep up. Her back and legs were bothering her, but she insisted on the exercise.

"Hm," Nora thought for a moment. "I want four children."

"Four?" Antonin exclaimed. "Can we settle for two?"

Nora shook her head. "I wanted a big family since I could remember."

"I wouldn't make a good father." He loved children. Antonin found conversation with a five year old much more interesting than one with a grown adult. He loved their probing questions and their infectious laughter. He would've jumped at the opportunity to become a parent if he didn't doubt his own abilities to be a good father.

"Yes, you would." Nora said hugging onto his arm signaling him to slow down yet again. He was practically dragging his feet on the cobblestone of Diagon Alley to keep her happy. "You're creative, funny, smart, you'd make a wonderful father."

"If four is what will make you happy, then you shall have it." Antonin said, kissing her forehead. She would make an even wonderful mother.

* * *

><p>"<em>Avada Kedavra!"<em> Antonin said pointing his wand at the muggle man. A sharp beam of light flew from the tip of his wand hitting the man in his blood stained chest. The light left his eyes in an instant. A sickening smirk spread across his features as he admired his work. Blood covered the walls of the small house and the owners bodies were left in a pool of crimson. Their eyes were still open and their hands reached out toward their fallen loved ones.

He slaughtered the muggle man, his filthy children and he especially enjoyed using his own special curse on the man's wife.

He walked outside of the house, the smell of coppery blood lingering under his nose. The sticky liquid covered his face and his hands. The crimson stuck to the handle of his wand squeezed through the creases in his fingers. He lifted his wand to the sky and shouted. "_Morsmordre_!"

The dark mark identical to the one on his arm was a symbol of terror to most and accomplishment to Antonin. He stared at the mark for a moment and disapparated with a pop and back into his manor. The adrenaline of the hunt pumped through his veins and his heart was beating out of control. His body wouldn't settle and his mind was racing.

"Antonin?" Nora said. She stood at the bottom of the stairs, her robes draped around her and her hair still pinned up into curls. He didn't hear her coming down the stairs and he panicked. She couldn't see him like this. He hid in the shadows praying she wouldn't notice the admonition of the nights hunt.

"Antonin, I can hear you."

"Yes, Nora?" he said, pretending it was the first time he heard her.

"I didn't know you had left." she said. "My apologies for falling asleep so early, I hadn't slept the previous night and I'm trying to read past this boring part of my novel. I think I got a little sleepy from it." She rambled walking closer to him. "I'll let you get to sleep, I'm going to grab some fruit and I'll be upstairs."

"Alright." Antonin said, backing away from her. Nora stood still for a moment and cocked her head to the side. One of the curls she had pinned to her head fell from its holding place.

"Can I have a kiss goodnight?"

"You never have to ask."

"Then come here and give me one." She said perking her lips forward. Antonin shook his head. "I can't, my love."

"Why not?"

"I-I just can't." Antonin said, unable to come up with a lie. Nora frowned and lifted a pale eyebrow. She wrinkled her nose and motioned him forward with her hand.

"Come into the light." Her voice was stern. Antonin moved slowly into the flickering candlelight until she saw his blood stained visage. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. She took a step back and turned away from him.

"Nora, I can explain-"

"There's nothing to explain." Her voice trembling. Her eyes looked away from him.

"Nora, listen for one-"

"Clean yourself up, Antonin." She rushed past him and walked into the kitchen.


	2. Part II: Earth

_Thank you for all who have read/reviewed. Let me know what you think._

_-Val_

* * *

><p><strong>Part II: Earth<strong>

Antonin couldn't sleep knowing she was mad at him. He didn't understand. She knew he was a Death Eater, she knew the job description that came along with it. He was going to kill. There was no way to avoid it. He leaned his throbbing head back in the leather chair of his office, his eyes were burning and his mind was begged for sleep, but he had to speak to her. He poured himself another glass of firewhiskey and his chair squeaked and wrinkled as he sank further into his seat. He brought the glass to his lips every so often to take a swig. The sharp liquid numbed his pain with every sip and left a tingle on his palette. His only comfort from the shuddering sound of silence was the crackling sound of the fire and the shuffling of his own feet under the desk.

He had begun to nod off into his chest when he heard the sound of banging downstairs. He forced his eyes open and jumped from his seat, spilling whiskey along the front of his shirt. He placed the glass on the desk and rushed down the marble staircase to the source of the noise. He heard the sharp slap of vibrating along the counter in the rarely travelled room of the kitchen.

"Nora?" he called as he opened the door. Two house elves worked furiously preparing another meal for him and his wife, while she slammed a knife down on the ends of dark crimson roses.

"Nora?" he said again.

"The elves made you some food." She mumbled. Antonin looked at the stainless steel dinner plate cover sitting on a tray adjacent to her. He peaked under the plate and scoffed. They were having salmon again with asparagus and mashed potatoes. He wasn't in the mood to eat, not until he knew she was alright.

"I'm not hungry." He said, placing the dinner cover back over the plate.

"Me neither."

"Have you eaten anything?" He asked, reaching out to touch her shoulder, but hesitated. He slowly pulled his hand away. She couldn't even face him. She wouldn't want him to touch her. She placed the roses in a blue vase and fanned them along the glass edges. When she was satisfied she pushed the vase along the counter and unwrapped another bouquet of flowers, this time white lilies, laid them on the counter and brought the knife down on the ends.

"No." She said, sniffling slightly.

"Nora, can we talk?" Antonin said. He needed to touch her, if she could feel how remorseful he was of her discovering him with blood along his face perhaps she wouldn't be too angry. He walked forward and wrapping his arms around her waist. He could feel her ribs under her floral dress.

"There's nothing to discuss." Nora said, putting the knife on the counter and touching his hand, stroking the top of his hand. She leaned back into his touch, her eyes were watering with tears and she shook in his arms.

"Darling," He said. "I'll tell you everything there is to know, I just don't want-"

"No." Nora said wriggling out of his grip and turning forward. Her coppery hair followed her movements, several strands hung loose in front of her face. Her eyes were red like she had been crying for some time, her cheeks were damp and her skin was a grayish pale. "Please, don't tell me. I'd rather not know."

"But-"

"Antonin," She said another wave of tears falling down her cheeks. She put a hand on each side of his face and ran her fingertips from his eyes to his lips. "I'd rather not know anything about what you do. I'm marrying you because of the sweet, beautiful human being you are, not for the ruthless monster that you portray yourself to be. There's nothing to explain on your part."

A marriage to a Death Eater meant the spouses had two options. The arrangement is simple. One spouse could tell the other everything or they could tell them nothing at all. She had already made her decision of what she preferred.

He nodded in agreement. If she wanted to remain in the dark, he couldn't make her do so otherwise. He kissed her gentle lips and nuzzled close to her. He felt the sleep that he had repressed for so long making him drowsy and weak. She wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled her face in his chest.

She refused to think badly of anyone she loved. He admired that about her. He only wished he could have the same traits. He spent most of his time dwelling on the bad in the ones he loved, rarely ever the good. He hollowed himself to believe there were no good people in the world. She was a myth that became his phenomenon.

* * *

><p>Antonin opened his eyes slowly. His face was still buried in her hair and his hands wrapped around her waist. He smiled and kissed the nape of her neck, grazing past her cold skin. His hands felt the silk of her nightie until smooth skin of her thigh came to his touch. He peeled the silk from her leg and continued to work his way up. He hoped she would wake and satisfy his aching arousal.<p>

She didn't wake. He continued to stroke her inner thigh until his fingers became sticky and wet. He brought his hand up quickly and held it in the glow of the moonlight. The crimson on his fingertips glowed in the night light and became redder and brighter to him.

"Nora!" he said. He jumped from the bed and drew the covers from over her. The white sheets of her side of the bed looked as if it had been painted red. He grabbed his cloak, wand and wrapped her tightly carrying her in his arms.

Apparation could be deadly in her condition, but there was no other way. He apparated to St. Mungo's her skin was a stark gray, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted. He could take one look at her and know it was fault, he did this to her. The healers and nurses placed her on a levitating stretcher and he rushed along with them, holding her hand and hoping she would wake up. He wanted to look in her eyes one more time, so he could tell her he was sorry for everything he had done.

His world became like a tunnel. There was no sound, no one else in the room, but the two of them. Tears were burning his eyes and falling down his cheek, making his vision murky. His knees were weak and his head felt too heavy for his own body. He propped his hand against the wall and crumpled to the floor.

"_Please don't die."_ He said in crackly voice. _"I'm sorry, my little flower, I'm sorry. Don't die, please."_

* * *

><p>He rested with Nora on her hospital bed. Her nose touched his and her hand was enclosed tightly into his palms. She was still red in the eyes from crying and her eyes were growing puffy.<p>

"I'm scared." She whispered, another tear rolling down her cheek.

"I am too." He said, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing her pale knuckle.

"I don't think I'm going to live for very long." She said, closing her eyes. A salty tear clung to her eyelash and disappeared when he could see her blue eyes again.

"No," Antonin said shaking his head. "Do not talk like that. You're going to be fine, darling."

"What if I'm not?" Nora asked, her hands shaking. "I don't want to die, I'm terrified."

"You're not going to die, my love." Antonin said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

He hoped if he kept saying it over and over she wouldn't die. Somehow it would keep her alive. All he had to do was keep saying it for the rest of his life. She would be healthy and live until she was as old and gray as he was. They would achieve every dream they hoped to accomplish. They would have four children, live in a perfect pureblood world, they would have breakfast every morning together and he'd look up from his morning paper and tell her; "You're not going to die." Thus saving her for one more day. He would give anything to have life work that way.

* * *

><p>"It appears to be a deadly muggle disease. It affects her blood." The healer said taking the charts of parchment down from his face and keeping it at his side.<p>

Antonin sat in the chair closest to Nora. She stared straight at the healer with a blank look upon her face. He touched her hand and she squeezed his for a moment, before letting go.

"A m-muggle disease?" Antonin said, watching the healer.

"Yes, sir."

"There's not a drop of muggle blood in her body." Antonin snapped. "You must've made a mistake."

"Sir, we tested her several times and every single result points to this. It's a wonder she's still alive today, she's had this for several years."

"How did she get this?"

"It's not contagious. She was more than likely born with this. It can be genetic or a deformity in her bone narrow or blood. It's rare for anyone with magical blood to get this, especially purebloods. We see it more with half-bloods and muggle borns."

Antonin closed his eyes and stroked the stubble upon his cheek. He couldn't lose her to this muggle disease. He couldn't let this happen to precious little flower. He glanced at Nora once again. She stared straight ahead, not making a sound or a move.

"How do we fight this?"

The healer sighed heavily. "Well," he said clearing his throat. "Because of the rarity there is very little we can do except give her the best care and all the treatments we know, blood replenishing potions, joint pain relievers and other such elixirs to keep her alive, but the healing process is very painful. It's hard to tell if she will ever recover with the disease already in its mature stages. However if she does there is a possibility of a relapse within six months to three years."

"But what are the chances of her living? That's all I care about." Antonin held his breath awaiting the healer's response. His heart was pounding in his ear and his stomach felt like it had been ripped open with a knife. He was going to be sick, he was going to vomit, but he couldn't.

"Erm, perhaps we should take a walk-" The healer suggested nodding toward Nora. She shook her head quickly, but didn't look at him. Taking note of her motion, Antonin said; "Tell me, I don't need to be coddled, just tell me."

The healer looked toward the sterile floor and his eyes met Antonin's. "If I could estimate I would say, perhaps a twenty percent chance if luck prevails. That however is being optimistic."

He saw Nora's eyes close for the first time. They remained shut for moments on end before she opened them. She didn't say another word.

"Thank you." Antonin said, flicking his wrist at the healer tensely. If he stayed a moment longer, Antonin would lunge at the man and threaten to curse his family if his wife wasn't healed by the end of the month. However he knew it would be a waste of energy. He focused had to focus on Nora and be strong for her. Her eyes remained blank and straight forward.

"Nora-" he said before he was interrupted.

"I want to go home." She muttered. Antonin felt like the world he had been waiting for was coming apart. He nodded his head and helped her stand on her feet. She changed into the dress he brought her from home, a dark blue low cut velvet dress with matching coat and shoes. Her hair was greasy and hung lankly past her shoulders, but unwashed hair was the least of her concerns. Her face looked heavy, like she would break down at any moment, but she didn't. She took his arm and they disapparated with a pop to the manor. Their massive home was deathly quiet and Nora still hadn't spoken a word.

Antonin paced back and forth along the front of the house. His steps echoed against the marble stone and Nora stood as still as ever. He couldn't think, he couldn't process the words that just been spoken. She was going to die, but he couldn't. He wouldn't let her. She was too important to him just for her to be let go. He couldn't breathe anymore, it was like someone put something heavy upon his chest. He ran his hands through his hair and felt the burns of tears, but he wasn't going to cry, he couldn't cry.

Nora stepped in front of him, putting his pace to a halt. She placed her hands on his cheeks and forced a smile on her face, although her eyes looked weary. "We're going to fight this, Antonin." Nora said with a forced smile on her face. Her eyes began to water with tears. "I'm not giving up, but don't you give up either. He said twenty percent was being optimistic, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, then I guess we'll be optimistic. I might defy the odds." She tried to make him smile, but he couldn't. His stomach lurched and he held back the bile building up in his throat.

He wasn't going to give up, he would never give up. He would give her his blood so she could live if it were possible, but he couldn't swallow the thought that perhaps it would all be in vain. What if she would die tomorrow? He couldn't lose her, not now. She was the love of his life, his reason for living and loving.

"I won't give up, not on you darling." He said kissing her and wrapping his arms around her waist tightly. He burned this moment into his memory. The way she smelled of sterile potions and honey, her soft skin against his cheek and her gentle breaths warming the skin on his neck. She kissed him gently pressing her forehead to his, her fingers tracing the crook his neck slowly.

"I want to go to bed. I need sleep. Are you going to join me?"

Antonin smiled and nodded. "Yes, I will be up shortly." He uttered. He needed to be alone just for a minute. The anger, frustration, sadness and confusion boiled in him and like a volcanic eruption he was on the verge of exploding. With a peck on the cheek she left him in the hallway. The clicking sound of her heels hitting the marble staircase echoed for a few moments until they faded into short whispers in his ear. He held his breath when he heard the door close behind her. He stormed to his office, shoving open the door and slamming it shut behind him. He paced around the room, breathing heavily. He had to think, he had to concentrate, but he couldn't. The walls in his chest were closing. It hurt so badly he thought he would hyperventilate.

A surge of anger coursed through his veins like ice. He clenched his fist and slammed it into the wall several times. Each punch made the dent in the wall deeper. The pain was unimaginable, but he didn't care. Creases of blood from his knuckles were left behind in the Victorian purple wallpaper and dry wall. When there was barely anything left to punch he picked up a lone chair and hit it against the wall several times, turning over any desk, table, and topping over a book shelf. When there was nothing else to punish he dropped to his knees. Blood from his wounded hand fell from the gashes in his knuckles onto the sleeve of his shirt and expensive carpeting.

Why did this have to happen to a good person like her? She was so kind, so perfect, an angel among cruel demons. Why did this have to happen? He could see a punishment such as this on himself or any of his comrades. It should be him that is facing his final moments. She should be in perfect health. There was no real justice in the world as other's had so rightfully told him.

"You'll get yours, sevenfold." A muggle man once said as Antonin let the flash of green light hit his chest.

Perhaps this was his punishment for his wrong doings? That is what the muggle man meant as he died? This was his suffering? If this was his cosmic punishment, why did someone so innocent have to die to make him pay? He fell to the floor, his face pressed into the lush carpet. The adrenaline in his system was replaced with the physical pain of his hand and the aching of his heart.

* * *

><p>Nora heard the commotion downstairs in Antonin's office. She was on her knees curled on the floor of the bathroom weeping into her knees. She had tried to remain strong, to believe that it wasn't true. She wasn't going to die She had to live for her soon to be husband. She grabbed onto her hair and pulled as the tears came down her cheeks.<p>

She was going to die. She knew this day would come, but she hoped she would be her nineties or even better when she was a hundred. Why was this happening and now of all times? She didn't want the pain, or the suspense of waiting for it to happen. Nora knew the pain would make her life unbearable, every day would be more torturous than the next, but she was afraid to die. Would there be a heaven or a hell? What if there was nothing at all? Not knowing what lay beyond the grave created more fear than knowing.

When the tears had dried upon her cheeks and Antonin's racket has ceased she stood up on her feet and carefully made her way down the stairs. Her wand was withdrawn and placed at her side in case she got a nasty surprise. She opened the door of the office and saw her fiancé crumpled in a ball with a swollen and bleeding hand and the room in shambles. She flicked her wand and uttered a cleaning spell. The room came back into its proper order.

"Antonin," she said as she leaned besides him. She picked up his hand and tended to his wounds with a flick of her wand the skin came together and the bleeding stopped.

"_Episkey_." She said and the bones cracked.

"Ow!" Antonin groaned as the bone came together. A small bruise was left behind on his knuckles, but they still ached. His eyes gazed up at her. "Nora." He said, pulling her close. He clung to her, his head in her chest and tears forming in his eyes, but they didn't fall down his cheeks. She had never seen him cry or so much as tear up, but it made her cry even harder. "Please, Nora, tell me this isn't true."

"Whatever happens, my love," She said stroking temple down to his chin, her nails dragging down the five o'clock shadow upon his cheeks and wiping tears from her eyes. "Is meant to happen, but we're never going to give up. We'll fight to the end."

"We will, we will."

* * *

><p>As she drank the potions and elixirs she was prescribed by the healers, the pain became unmentionable. As she suffered, he suffered as well. His was a fierce anger that boiled inside of every nerve in his body. Fucking muggles, were the cause of all this, all his pain, Nora's pain. Their diseases and their filth were killing her, despite how she treated them. He could've killed each and every single one of them if he could until the day came where he could punish them for what they've done, the woman whose throat he was crushing in his hands would do for the time being.<p>

He didn't know her name, nor did he care, but he was stripping the life from her. He had to get rid of this anger, but the harder he squeezed her throat the angrier he became. She had been walking home alone in the dark he imagined, he stunned the bitch, straddled her down and was in the process of the last step. He squeezed her throat so hard it hurt him. Her face was turning purple and the veins in her forehead bulged. Her eyes widened in fear and panic and her mouth uttered silent pleas.

She tried to move her arms, but the more she struggled the less she could breathe. He could feel her pulse beating slower and slower. In the dark slimy alleyway he couldn't see the light leaving her eyes except from the small glimmer from the stars provided him enough light to see one eye, dilate and eventually succumb to her fate. Her body grew limp and her pulse stopped.

He stood above her and spat on her dead body. "Filthy muggle bitch." He said before disapparating.

* * *

><p>He brought the whiskey bottle to his lips and sunk further into the bathtub, the water sloshing with his movements and pruned his skin. He stared at his hands, one held a cigarette and the other wrapped around the bottle of firewhiskey. How quickly they took life away with no remorse. He didn't feel pity just as this disease felt no pity for his beloved Nora. He heard a knock on the door, but didn't bother to acknowledge it. She opened the door anyway.<p>

"Anty," she said. She only called him that on two occasions, when they were making love or when she was especially worried. She walked closer to him, kneeling on the tub and bringing her head to his hand.

"What are you doing?" He took another swig of whiskey. She knew what he'd done.

She lifted his chin up to look at her. Her eyes were twinkling.

"I don't know."

"Do not blame them, for my condition. It's no one's fault."

Everything was crumbling and it was their fault. If they didn't exist, maybe she would live.

* * *

><p>He had to get married quickly. He woke up one morning, gave Nora her potion and decided to marry her. He picked his best dress robes and took her wedding dress from the back of her closet. It didn't take much to coax her to fix her hair and put some make up on. Nora missed getting dressed up and leaving the confines of their bedroom. They decided upon a small church on the outskirts of London to elope. He didn't want anything large as they had planned, it would take too long. Nora was content with a small wedding with very few people. He invited only his best friend Lucius, her godmother and godfather to be their witnesses.<p>

He reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out the small piece of parchment. He had written it weeks ago, but the cursive lettering had a new meaning.

"Nora," he read, his voice cracking on the words as he pushed back emotions. "Words cannot describe how I feel about you. You've made me believe that being in love is not a negative in fact it has its many rewards. You are beautiful, kind, wonderful in every way and most importantly I love you. Whatever happens, I love you and I want to be with you forever."

Nora blinked away tears as he took her hand and slid the ring on her finger. She didn't have a piece of parchment in her hands. She took a step closer to him and smiled.

"I love you, Antonin. I don't care what anyone says, you're a beautiful human being and a wonderful man. You're caring, handsome, my best if not only true friend. You have treated me like a princess or better. I am incredibly lucky to be your wife. I love you."

She slid the ring on his finger and with a kiss their marriage bond was sealed.

* * *

><p>"You only have one more." Antonin said bringing the goblet of foul smelling vitamix potion to her lips. Nora scrunched her face and turned her head away.<p>

"Please, Nora. It's only one more, I promise. The strengthening solution is the worse out of all of them."

"But the Vitamix makes me vomit."

Antonin sighed and rubbed his temple. "I know, baby." He said. "But you've got to take it four times a day."

"I want my draught of peace first." Nora frowned and crossing her arms over her chest. "Then I'll take that horrible shit you call a potion."

This wasn't his Nora. It was the pain from her aching body and migraines talking. If he wanted to get her well he had no choice, but to ignore the snide insults and evil eyes.

"It's still brewing, baby." He said, forcing his tone to be gentle. He hired several potions masters to make her draught of peace. Although he received high markings for his potions while in school, he didn't want to risk giving a possibly poisonous draught to his beloved. He pushed the goblet closer to her lips.

"What's taking so long?" she complained, pushing the goblet away with the palm of her hand.

"It has to brew for a certain numbers of hours, Nora."

She shot him a glare with sunken dark rimmed eyes, her bottom lip was tucked in and she exhaled sharply through her nose. Antonin stared down at her, not backing down for one moment.

"Alright, fine." She said snatching the goblet, holding her nose and drinking the foul Vitamix potion down in one gulp. She swallowed and dry heaved for a moment.

"That's my girl." Antonin said giving her a drink of water which she accepted graciously. He stroked her hair and kissed her head.

"Which one is next?" she asked weakly.

"You don't have to take one for another three hours. What do you want to do until then?"

"How about we-" Nora paused for a moment. Her spine curved and her eyes widened. She grabbed her marble basin and vomited. Nora was cursed with a weak stomach. When she took her Vitamix and Strengthening potion together it gave her horrible nausea. He stroked her back and pulled back her hair. The rotten smell of bile still lingered in the air, even after she placed the basin back by her bedside table.

"Do you feel better?" Antonin asked stroking her hair.

"Yes," she nodded. She wiped her mouth with her handkerchief and folded it neatly on her lap. "Can you read to me please?" she asked.

"What book, love?" he said looking at the stack that had begun to pile up around their bed.

"I don't care, I need a distraction. I can't move without everything hurting." She droned, laying her back against the pillows. He thumbed through the stack of books by her bed and pulled a blue hard covered book.

"_Menage a Trois_?" he asked, checking the book pages to see if it was written in English.

"It's an erotic novel." She said, sniffling. "Are you sure you want to read that?"

"If it's erotic, I'm interested." Antonin joked sitting on the bed. Whenever her migraines rendered her nearly blind she would place her head in his lap and he would massage her temples and read to her in a soft voice.

"It's always about sex with you, isn't it?" she asked weakly lying on his lap. "I'm ready."

"Alright," he said clearing his throat. "Chapter one, Elaine Dubois," He looked at Nora for a moment. Her eyes were squinted shut and her back curved. It broke his heart to see her in so much agony. "When I was just a young boy I was told by my first love, my mother that one person can only love one other person. The rest is mere lust. I lived by that philosophy my entire life, until I met a witch so beautiful I took her as my other wife. Her name was Elaine Dubois." He looked down at her again and stroked her pink lips.

"Are you listening?" he asked her.

"Yes." Nora said readjusting herself on his lap.

* * *

><p>"GO AWAY!" Nora screamed so loud it made Antonin's head hurt. It took all her energy to slam the bathroom door shut. Antonin tried to open the door, but it was locked. He cursed under his breath and pulled out his wand. "Don't come in, please." She said her voice trembling. He could hear her bare feet pacing back and forth across the floor.<p>

Nora's feet felt like she had hot pins were pricking her as she walked. Each step was more painful than the next, but she bared it. She clenched her fist and felt the fire of her own muscles moving, but she had to keep in motion. She had to think of ways to forget this, she couldn't let this happen. It was bad enough she could barely keep any food down or she would bleed rapidly at random moments and she couldn't move without any hint of pain, but her looks were going as well. She was going to lose him.

"Baby," Antonin said softly, pressing his forehead to the door. "Talk to me, what's going on?"

"Go away." Nora said, bursting into tears once again.

"Let me see."

"You'll hate me."

"I could never hate you."

"You'll think I'm ugly."

"I know you're beautiful."

"Liar."

"I always tell the truth, even when I lie." He chuckled and waited for a moment to hear what she would do or say next. He continued. "You're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and ever will see."

"I'm disgusting. You'll be repulsed by me."

Antonin sneered. "Nora, in the past several months I have known you, I have mopped up your sweat, helped you use the loo, cleaned up your vomit and have been vomited on-"

"I apologized for that."

"Let me finish." Antonin said, recounting her illness. "I have cleaned up your blood, stayed up nights making your potions for the week ahead, inspected your defecation for blood, bathed you and brought you back and forth to St. Mungos. There is nothing you could show me that would disgust me. I did all of this for you, can you do me this one favor and tell me what's troubling, baby?"

"I-I don't know." Nora hesitated.

"Please?" Antonin said softly. "It doesn't matter what it is, I will love you. Everything I do is because I love you, please open the door." After nearly a minute of waiting her heard the doorknob lock pop open. He quickly grabbed the door knob and slowly turned the handle. Nora's face was in her pale hands and her whole body shook in despair. Antonin's gaze softened and his mouth dropped.

A decent portion of her head was covered in bald patches. Small sprouts of coppers hung loosely from her head and hung on the blades of her shoulders. He wasn't oblivious to her condition. He noticed her hair thinning for a while. She agreed to take an experimental periwinkle potion that was supposed to cure her. However it left her with nasty side effects.

"Nora," He said trying to remove her hands from her face. "Look at me."

"I'm hideous. How could you even look at me?"

Antonin wrapped her fingers around her hand and removed them from her face. She turned her head away from him, tears falling down her cheeks. He tilted her chin to face him and kissed her lips. His hand wrapped around the nape of her neck and pulled her close to him. She tasted metallic and sweet.

"You're beautiful," He said pulling away from her. "Hair or no hair you look radiant. Do you think I fell in love with just your hair only?"

"It was a factor." She said pouting her lips.

"Yes, I love your hair, but that's not the only reason why I love you."

Nora put her head into his chest, rubbing her face on the fabric of his shirt. "I can't leave the house looking like this."

"Well, I suppose we'll have to remedy that."

"Hair growth potions would interfere with the other ones I'm taking."

"I'll think of something until then."

* * *

><p>"I don't like surprises." Nora said, covering her eyes with her hands. Antonin smirked at her and ran his fingers down the scarf she had placed on her head. He didn't like the scarf itself on her, but she hated looking at the bald patches upon her head. The pink silky fabric was the one of the few objects in life that kept her momentarily satisfied with her condition. He found her attractive hairless or not, but he couldn't refuse her anything especially happiness.<p>

"You'll love this surprise." He said sitting her at the vanity. He checked in the mirror twice for a blue eye to peak between her fingers. He picked up a light box wrapped in velveteen paper from a nearby chair and placed it in her lap. "Okay, you can look."

Nora dropped her hands to her lap and stared at her present. She frowned and looked at up Antonin with a playfully suspicious look in her eyes. "What is this?" she asked.

"Open it and find out."

She unwrapped the velveteen packaging with a crinkle and a rip and took off the lid. She stared down at a wig made of hair identical to hers. A small smile appeared on her face and she picked it up to examine it.

"Well?" Antonin asked. It took him days to find someone with red hair like hers to make the perfect wig. "Do you like it?"

"Yes." Nora said plainly. Antonin's heart sunk, she was already disappointed. He sighed and stroked the pink scarf. "Would you want to try it on?"

"I suppose so." she said closing her eyes as she brought her hands to her nonexistent hairline and slid the scarf off. She squeezed her eyes tightly and Antonin placed the wig on her head, adjusting the symmetry and finger combed it.

"Well?" he said again. Nora opened her eyes and cocked her head to the side. She had straight line bangs and her hair was almost to her hips. She squinted and blinked.

"I look like—" she paused and shook her head continued. "Hmm, the bangs look… never mind, I love it." It was obvious she was lying.

"Not now you don't. Hold your wand to it and imagine what you want. Any hairstyle of your choosing" Nora frowned, but grabbed her wand anyway next to her music box and placed it to her temple with a little thought she imagined her hair pinned up into a messy bun and the bangs removed. Her eyes widened and she smiled.

"This is wonderful." She said with a chuckle.

Antonin looked at her in the vanity mirror, his cheek pressed up against his and he wrinkled his nose. Her hair was messy up and nearly frizzy. "Now you're midnight pub queen." He said.

Nora shook her head. "No, let's try again." She thought for a moment and her red hair spun up to a bun at the top of her head. It was a thin oval shape and held tight together.

"I am Miss. Beehive now, love." Nora joked with a laugh. Antonin turned his nose up.

"It's uhm-"

Her eyes widened and she tapped his hand repeatedly. "Oh I have another idea!" she exclaimed. He hadn't seen her excited about anything besides her calming draught in months.

"Thank goodness, I thought you were going to keep that horrid hair." Antonin sighed with relief. She put her wand to her head and made her hair long and curly down to her waist. "What about this? Do you like it?" she asked.

Antonin her up and down. It was a sexy way to wear her hair. The curls covered the front of her chest and hung loosely brushing past her curvy waist. He felt his pants grow increasingly tighter. "I do like that." She stood up from her vanity and kissed him. "Thank you." She said, holding him close to her, she placed her head on his chest and dragged her nails from his collarbone to his abdomen.

"I'm glad, I made it myself."

"How?"

He recalled fondly of searching the London streets for a muggle woman to steal her hair from. She had a delightful scream about her, it was a shame she never got to see what her sacrifice did for another needy woman.

"I made it with magic, that's all you need to know." He said.

She kissed him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm not feeling as nauseous tonight. That Vitamix must finally be doing its job." she said. A lewd smirk appeared on her face and she traced her hands farther and farther down until it reached the bulge in his pants. "Fancy a romp?" she asked.

He thought she'd never ask.

* * *

><p>He never expected her to be a sexual deviant or have any lust at all. Sometimes she'd be fine and they would share that closeness together. She couldn't go for too long or she'd grow weak and tired. He was happy with what he had. It was practically asexual, instead of a lustful marriage with their personal blessing from every room he had to settle for kisses and hugs. It wasn't her fault and some days he didn't mind, but it wasn't always easy. Her drive was especially low, not for weeks, but for months. As much as he tried to understand, his own selfish needs would tap him on the shoulder.<p>

He had been pretending to sleep for a long time. It gave him an excuse to stare at her. She lay on her arms, her chest rising and falling with her raspy breaths. He reached out to touch her arm, dragging his fingers softly down her skin and kissing her shoulders. He needed her. He was begging to let him feel her. The closeness he craved was met with opposition. She touched his hand and fell back asleep.

He tried again pressing his erect manhood to the back of her hip and kissing her neck and dragging the tip of his tongue to her ear lobe and suckling gently.

"Not tonight." She mumbled.

Antonin still held her in his arms. He didn't need sex. He just wanted to touch her, to memorize every bit of her. He put his head into her back, his arms steady and strong around her waist. Her hand wrapped around his and squeezed tightly. Something burned his eyes, they were tears. The salty liquid tried to make its way from his eyes, but he shoved them back.

* * *

><p>He thought this was the end. Nora had begun bleeding again this time in the bathtub and she wouldn't stop. Her skin was sallow and pale, the whites in her eyes had turned a sickly yellow and her mouth was red and stained with dried blood from her gums. He would mop up the blood from the corner of her mouth with his handkerchief. She could barely keep her eyes open and when she spoke, she spoke in whispers. The end was coming for her. He could feel it as much as he tried to fight it.<p>

He kept her looking alive. She wasn't going to die with her appearance ragged and neglected like most patients do. He adjusted her wig, combed it, put on her makeup, cleaned her and would massage her aching bones. The healers thought it was a shallow attempt to keep her looking beautiful so he could gaze upon her without vomiting, but they were wrong. He had to keep a sense of normalcy or he would lose his mind. He had to be prepared for when the end came.

"I'm scared." Nora said in a soft whisper. Her eyes were half open, but her blue pools twinkled under the dim hospital lights. Antonin gently massaged her aching hands and kissed each one of her fingers.

"Of what?" he asked, knowing the answer already. He didn't know why he bothered to ask.

"Death." She said. "I know it's going to happen-"

"Don't talk like that."

"But I must." Nora's bottom lip trembled and a tear rolled down her cheek and into her hair. "We're all going to die someday, perhaps my time is-"

"No." Antonin said shaking his head. He couldn't look at her. She would see the tears building in his eyes. She would think of him as weak. "No, you'll make it."

"But what if I don't, Anty?"

He hesitated and stared down at the chipping peach fingernail polish he placed on her finger a few days earlier. He reminded himself to paint it before he went to sleep that night.

"Your hair is growing back." He noted.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"That has to be a sign that you're getting better." He was falling into his own despair and he was desperately grabbing at air to provide some sort of comfort.

"No," Nora shook her head. "We have to talk-"

She stopped for a moment to cough violently. He took his handkerchief and wiped up the corners of her mouth and gave her a drink of water. She nodded a thank you and he kissed her hand in reply.

"We have to talk about this," Nora said. "We cannot live in a dream world, my love. What if it happens tomorrow?" She paused for a moment and checked to see if he was still listening or would be willing to listen. He hadn't looked up from massaging her hands, but she could feel him hanging on her every word.

"I don't want to die in a hospital, hospitals terrify me. The smells, the sounds, the lights and the white of the walls reminds me of heaven."

"You don't want to go to heaven?" he asked, looking up briefly.

"I do, but not without telling you goodbye. I wake up and I think I died for only a moment and then I see you, asleep in your chair." She nodded towards the wood chair that had become his bench and bed over the last couple of weeks.

"Okay." He said feeling a crook in his neck from the awkward sleep positions he had to endure. He bit his tongue to keep the tears from falling from his eyes and onto his hands.

"Next, I want to wear that emerald green dress I wore to the picnic. It's my favorite dress and I want to wear the black shoes I wore with it as well." Nora exhaled a shaky breath and lifted her aching fingers to touch his cheek. They shook uncontrollably against his skin. "Look at me." She said. His eyes went from her hands to her beautiful eyes. "I loved you since the moment I saw you, although I didn't know it. I love you so much it hurts me to say it. Please, when the time comes can you do me one favor?"

"Anything, my love." Antonin said.

"Let me go." She said with a sniffle. Antonin's heart dropped to his stomach. For a moment, he was a mute. Nora could read his emotions as if they were printed word on parchment, but she continued. "You will have your time to join me and I will be waiting with bated breath for your return, but until that time you'll have to let me go."

Antonin leaned forward, placing his elbows on the bed. He put her hand to his forehead and stared at the chipped nail polish. It began to resemble a deformed eye. He looked back up at her and tried to lie to her, but he couldn't. Not when he was looking into her eyes.

"I-I can't." he said. "I can never let you go."

"Please." Nora begged another tear slipping from her eyes. "I'm just as scared as you are. I don't know what's waiting for me, but I need you to let me go when the time is right you'll do what's best for me. Let me go, darling. We both will know when, but when that time comes-"

"I can't." Antonin said shaking his head. "I can't."

Nora's eyes fluttered with tears. She sniffled and wiped it away with her good hand. She pointed to the stack of three books laying by her bed. "Read to me, please?"

Antonin nodded and stood up, his knees cracking from sitting for so long and thumbed through the books. "What shall I read? Nothing in French, your nurse is still laughing at me for my horrible pronunciation."

Nora smiled weakly. "How about "The Poet and His Bride?" she asked, moving slowly to make room for him. He climbed onto the bed, carefully trying to avoid bumping her. His arm wrapped around him and her head on his chest.

"Chapter one," he read. "There once was a man, a poet to be specific who lived in a small town outside of Moscow. He was nearly thirty, with a business that required him to feel, live, love, hate, yearn and scorn or in other practical terms, a poet. He loved his job, but not as much as he loved his bride." He paused to look at her and she looked back up at him. Her eyes were dancing stars.

"Are you listening?" he asked her playfully.

"I always listen." She chuckled.

* * *

><p>She hung Christmas ornaments on the tree. Her off the shoulder red dress hung loosely like her skin. He watched her shoulder bone perk from the skin, its visibility varying on the angle and where her limbs moved. He could see her high cheekbones and strong chin like she had been carved out of wood. Her eyes had darker rims, but it gave her royal eyes a godly aura.<p>

She was sick, but she was alive and ever so beautiful.

"I didn't have time to get you much." She said, pointing to the presents mostly labeled "To Nora" on the front. "I-I'm sorry." She said.

"You never have to get me a thing." He said adjusting the garlands on the tree. He waved his wand and snow fell from a small cloud above them. She smiled weakly and kissed him. Her being alive and in his life was the greatest gift he had ever received.

* * *

><p>This was it. Antonin thought she was going to die. She could barely breathe and she had been weak for several days. Her pale dry lips moved slowly talking to him, but he could barely understand her, but he nodded his head and held her tighter in response. She didn't cry or express her fears, she just talked. He suppressed his own emotions, closing his eyes and dragging his fingertips up and down the bridge of her nose to the top of her lips. If he got a wisp of hot air he knew she was alive.<p>

He waited for hours. He knew when the moment came he would beg her to fight and to live. He admitted he was selfish for wanting her to carry on despite the pain it caused her. They stayed up nights before talking about dying and although he prepared himself for the inevitable, he held onto the glimmer of hope that she would live. However when that time came, she would know and she would ask to let her go and he wouldn't.

That night she never asked.

* * *

><p>One morning Antonin woke up to have the sunlight shining in his eyes. The curtains were drawn, it had been the first time he saw the sun in weeks, perhaps even a couple of months. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and reached out to touch his wife's arm next to him. He felt the expensive linen sheets, but she wasn't there. He didn't have to wonder long, he heard her humming from the bathroom.<p>

Her skin had a fresh glow about it. Her lips were pink and her eyes were wide and twinkling. Her natural hair was still dark and damp. It had been awhile since he's seen her real hair. It was a longer boy cut, but still vibrant.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." She said, hugging the towel close to her. She sat at the vanity and toyed with her hair. She finger combed the strands and spiked it up and flattened it down. "You've been asleep for nearly two days straight."

"Has it been that long?" he asked, trying to get his body out of bed, but his mind and ligaments were not cooperating together.

"Yes or close to it." She laughed. It was a miracle. She looked well and lively. Had this all been one horrible nightmare or was this just a dream? He pinched his skin and ripped at the small hairs on his arms. He winced in pain, but nothing happen, it wasn't a dream. He could've cried tears of joy.

"Do you like my hair this short?" she asked. He looked examined her. He liked the boy cut, but he felt a woman's hair should be long, it gave him something to runs his hands through when he kissed her or to pull on when he felt like being kinky.

"I do." He said.

Nora ran her fingers down the side smoothing it out. "I can live with it for a few months." She said. She wrapped her robe around her body and put her makeup on. Her foundation brush went over her cheeks in quick circles and up and down her face and neck. He watched her with a wide grin on his face. She saw him from the corner of her eye and turned to him. "I've never seen a smile like that before." She said.

"You look wonderful, my love." He said. "It's incredible, you're breath taking."

He was overwhelmed with excitement and so was she. He longed to see those rosy cheeks to their brightest pink and a smile on her face. Nora ran from vanity bench to the bed and into his arms. She kissed him lustfully and straddled his hips. "I feel wonderful. My prayers have been answered." She smiled through the happy tears in her eyes and put her hands on his chest.

"Do you want to go for a walk on the property?" she asked in a husky voice. Her smile was sultry and her eyes look heavy lidded.

"Sure." He said, his hands placed on her thighs.

* * *

><p>Nora panted in his ear, leaving hot sensations behind. She clawed at the skin under his shirt and their hearts were beating as one. Antonin's knees were buried in the grass and he could feel the cold mud coming through his trousers. She felt so good. She left her kisses along his neck and collar bone and he did the same. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he's felt her, but to him it was worth the wait. He felt alive. The colors lightened by the sun were vibrant and sound he was once aware of left him. There was only her<p>

"Antonin." Nora moaned, her heels digging into his backside. Antonin stared into her eyes and quickened his pace. He came with a soft moan, his arms weakened and twitching from ecstasy. She was so beautiful and everything he could have ever wanted.

"I love you." She kissed him hard, wrapping her legs tighter around his waist. He didn't want to leave her, she felt so warm and safe.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>She wanted to go camping, but he wasn't a fan of the outdoors. They used their wands to position linen cloth to make a make shift tent. They lit dim lamps and threw pillow under their tent and camped underneath the sheets together just talking.<p>

"Can I ask you something?" Nora asked.

"Hm?" Antonin responded, dragging his palm down her cheek. "Sure."

"Did you ever have a toy that you loved more than anything?"

"No." Antonin responded, shaking his head. It was true. "My parents didn't believe in giving me toys or anything nice. I used to play with sticks and rocks like a poor mudblood-"

"I don't like that word." Nora mumbled, cutting him off.

"Sorry," Antonin rolled his eyes. "Like a poor child. The only toys I had others bought for me. I had to hide them from my parents, but they eventually found them and made an effort to make sure I learned my lesson." He flinched at the thought of the leather strap that hung on the mantle over the fireplace in the sitting room.

"Oh," Nora said. "Now, I feel horrible for bringing it up."

"Why?"

"Because I had a toy that I loved."

"Nora, I don't mind hearing about your story. Besides, it doesn't make a difference now, what's done is done." He wrapped a finger around hers and listened intently. "Tell me about this toy of yours."

"It was a doll. I named her Rose." She told, suppressing a grin. "I was sick then as well and I didn't have any friends. Mother said that if I couldn't find a friend, I'd have to make one." Nora half grinned and continued. "She was a beautiful doll. She had light green eyes and black hair. Her skin was porcelain and clear and her lips were a bright ruby red. I remembered she wore a beautiful silk purple dress and a hat to match. I used to talk to her and love her, but whenever she spoke back to me, in my mind of course, she sounded like my mother."

Nora scanned Antonin's eyes and ran her hands up the curve of his back. "My mother was a beautiful woman. She had dark hair and light eyes and my father had blonde hair and blue eyes. Mum was a black Irish woman. She tried to hide her Irish roots. She thought of herself as a full blood Brit, but I was the proof of her Celtic roots. She'd yell and scream at me. She's say; "Nora, why can't you be beautiful? Nora, your hair is disgusting! Nora, the only remarkable trait about you is your father's eyes!"

Antonin's blood ran cold for the dead older woman. He could've strangled the bitch himself. Was she blind? She was beautiful and her Irish looks made her even more beautiful.

"When I first bought my wand I tried to change my hair color."

"She was alive when you went to school?"

"No, but when you're reminded how ugly your hair and freckles are when you're a child, it sticks with you."

"You never have to feel that way when you're with me because you are beautiful."

And she was. Aesthetically beautiful was only the beginning, it was her beautiful soul as well. He had never met someone so kind to everyone she came across.

"What constitutes as beauty to you?"

Nora shrugged her shoulders lazily. "I don't know."

"Yes you do, tell me."

"Well," Nora said. "I wanted darker hair and skin that wasn't freckled. I wanted to look like Rose. I thought that was beauty."

Antonin nodded his head in agreement. "Yes," he said. "That is beautiful, but so are blondes, red heads, brunettes, tall, short, thin, slim, chubby, porcelain, freckles, dimples, brown, olive-"

"What are you trying to pointout?"

"Isn't it obvious? There are different types of beauty. There's not just one. Aesthetically there are different combinations that work well on one person, but you have what the others don't have."

"Freckles on their shoulders?"

Antonin kissed her left shoulder that had a couple spotted freckles on the groove of the bone.

"Don't forget the freckles on the bridge of your nose." She put her hand over her face and he pulled them away. "Never hide them under make up again. I love your freckles." He put his thumb on the tip of her pink lips. Her tongue grazed his skin and sucked lightly. Her lips made a small sucking sound, but her tongue continued to trace the ridges of his finger. "You have a heart. Your beauty on the outside matches your beauty on the inside."

Nora wrapped her leg around his. She came closer into his outstretched arms.

"For a Death Eater you sure as sweet," she said planting a kiss on his lips. "Perhaps your inside is beautiful compared to the outside."

* * *

><p>Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. He had never been happier in his entire life. His muggle hunts had lessened, he woke up with a smile and he fell asleep with one as well. He never stressed over anything and their lives were blissful. He still read to her at night and sometimes she read to him. He took her to St. Mungo's to check on her illness and the healers were amazed at how quickly she recovered and they agreed it was a miracle. He was more optimistic than he ever had been. He looked forward to a bright future with her and hopes for an heir to his estate. They had begun cleaning out Antonin's old bedroom.<p>

It had been an adventure walking down memory lane with pictures of his fellow Slytherin friends crammed in old books and in his dresser between his schools robes and trousers that will not fit him anymore. He disposed of the old sticky explicit magazines he kept under his bed and removed the Quidditch and half naked female posters on his wall. They painted the wall a neutral green color and began searching for cribs. They hoped to have a son by next spring and a girl the year afterward. As much as he enjoyed dreaming about waking up to little hands patting his face, he enjoyed trying for them even more.

Along with his newfound optimism, his faith in humanity and people had grown since the beginning of her illness. The world couldn't have been too dreadful if Nora was alive and well. He had never lived to the extent he had in that short time. He took her to Spain for a change of scenery and they danced into the early morning hours. She looked radiant in a red and black flamboyant Flamenco dress.

He never took her to be a dancer, but apparently the books had done her some good over the years.

"I love Spanish food." She said their final night on vacation. They sat outside under the moon on a balcony overlooking the city. An iron gate was the only object separating them from a twenty foot fall. Antonin peered down for a moment and imagined how easily it would be to throw someone to their death.

"Me too." He said mixing his rice and beans together. He watched her shove food in her mouth rapidly like she wouldn't eat anything else. "Slow down, Nora." He chuckled. "No one is going to eat your-"

"Antonin," she said. Her mouth was completely stuffed with food. Small bits of rice fell from her mouth and onto her lap and the table cloth. "I ont dum of dat." She said her eyes wide as a levitating platter of chocolate cake passed by their table.

"Anything you wish my dear." He said, remarking how delicious the cake looked. He looked at her stomach and tapped his chin.

"Are you sure you're not pregnant, my love?"

Nora shook her head, swallowed her food. "Not yet."

"Hopefully you will be soon."

* * *

><p>Antonin went through the mail that was delivered. He set aside Nora's Witch Weekly and Madame Monroe's books of the month suggestion list to be placed with her breakfast tray. She had a few owls from her godmother and her cousins, but there was one owl for him. He looked at the front of the letter and in fancy cursive letting it read in the left corner; Rodolphus Lestrange.<p>

"_Antonin, _

_Rabastan and I are going on a muggle hunt. Care to join?_

_Rodolphus." _

Antonin would've jumped at the opportunity only a few months ago, but after his wife's miraculous recovery, he couldn't gather the cruelty to kill a muggle despite their filthy presence in the world. This was the happiest he's been because of her. He wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.

He responded back with a white lie.

"_Rodolphus, _

_Sorry, I'm very busy tonight, but perhaps another time._

_Antonin."_

* * *

><p>Nora coughed hard into her hand, stepping away from the piano she had been playing and went off to the corner of the room.<p>

"Darling, are you okay?" he asked stepping toward her. Her coughs were guttural and raspy as if her passageways were made of sand. "I'm fine." She was able to belt before another chorus of coughs dragged themselves from her throat. He conjured a glass of water and handed it to her. She nodded her head drank the water in one gulp.

"I'm sorry." She apologized clearing her throat. She looked down at her hand and frowned. On her pink fingertips lay small droplets of red pools. She looked up at him, her face was pale and her eyes shifted from corner to corner of the room.

Antonin's heart was broken yet again.


End file.
